her

When you tell a story it’s supposed to have a beginning and an ending but my beginning is filled with endings and hopefully my ending will be filled with beginnings

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once upon a time there was a little girl. she was cast aside by her father, unwanted and unloved. as a result, she was all her mother had left in the world as she too had burned every bridge she had. then her mother abandoned her too, slowly and then all at once like some people say how you fall in love. the little girl was left to live her life alone and abandoned by the two that were supposed to love her most. she grew up and nurtured and loved herself as much as she was able. she watched as her mother was slowly abandoned too, she taught herself as much as she could in her environment what was right and what was wrong, she was her own mother, her own father, her own sister and brother, her own lover and her own best friend. she worked and tried so that one day she might be able to win over her parents love and win back her friendship. she thought that maybe, just maybe if her grades were high enough and she did enough that they would love her. that she would no longer be the odd one out, that she would no longer feel excluded. and so she worked and she hoped and she made many mistakes along the way. several tried to lead her astray and they did successfully. but the little girl knew no better because for the first time in her life someone had showed her that they cared and loved her. someone had made her feel special and important. and then they took that away.

once upon a time there was a girl who all she wanted to do was learn. she has a passion and love for knowledge and wanted to know anything and everything. she wanted to know why people hurt each other and why they hurt her and she wanted to help people so that they may never feel as she does. she wanted to know how bridges worked and make sure that cameras weren’t actually magic. she wanted to read and to grow and she wanted to learn how to love and how to love herself. she wanted it all. so she worked and hoped that if her grades were high enough and that if she was good enough, she would get to go to school. because that was all she wanted to do. she wanted to got to school and she wanted to learn and grow.

once upon a time there was a girl that just wanted to run. she wanted to get away. she had such a strong desire for adventure and risk that all she wanted to do was hop on a plane and fly as far away as she could get. she wanted to blend into the crowd and become new. she wanted to chance to become a different person everywhere she went and create herself anew. she wanted the ability to forget all that she had been and all that there was and just be her. she wanted to find herself in everything she could never be.

once upon a time there was a girl so bitter she could barely breathe. she hated anyone and everything just for the simple fact of being. she was filled with envy and with jealousy. she refused to believe in love or a god or in happiness separate from proving them wrong. all she knew was hate. all she knew how to be was bitter and rude and angry. and that anger and resentment built up in her heart and destroyed her from the inside out, it ripped her to shreds and she was left to be only a shell of what she once was.

once upon a time a girl met a boy and all the layer of her being slowly melted away.

once upon a time a girl fell in love

and that was the end.

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This is my story.