I talked to him last night. Over the phone. In someways I think I got the reassurance I needed from him but I’m left even more confused about my own feelings. I know he loves me and cares for me still. I can tell and feel it. I can tell in the songs he listens to and in the way he wanted to just tell me everything but was still holding back. He’s hadn’t had the time nor the thought to move on. So he hasn’t. But is it because he still loves of because he’s not capable of moving on? Who knows….but is that what’s important? Isn’t it just important that he loves me? I guess so.
But do I still love him? Yes of course I do, but is it still the same? That phone call I just needed something. Some reassurance and I got it. I got what I was looking for. But now I’m left confused by my old feelings. I kept trying to feel something and I didn’t. I felt nothing. If anything I felt like I ruined it. I kept thwarting his probes. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know what to do. I need him to make me fall in love with him again.