obsessed

“You’re obsessed with him.”

Am I really though? God fucking damnit. I don’t want to be. You don’t understand how actively I try not to think about him and not to talk about him. And I hate myself for it. For still being wrapped up in him and that I still love him. That despite it all, I want us to win. I’m rooting for us, together, just him and I. But can you blame me? Am I wrong to talk about him? He was the largest part of my life for the better part of two years and now he’s gone. But at the same time, he’s still there. I’m so confused by my emotions and what the right thing is to do. I’ve made a tinder as of tonight and a boy messaged me and I have matches whatever the hell that means. Part of me feels like this is cheating, and the other knows that I’m not. But my heart is still with him. What the fuck am I doing. 

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